She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
