after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
there is glitter all over my balls
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