Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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