The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
