I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
