I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize