Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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