meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize