why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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