dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
