I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
