if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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