don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
