I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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