Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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