Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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