no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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