spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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