Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
