so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize