There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dick very happy bro
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
