apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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