im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
