I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
