Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
