id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you had me at cake vodka
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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