Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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