I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
