I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
