I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
