Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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