Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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