Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
