im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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