i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
