He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
cat food counts as protein by the way
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
