oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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