White coat. Heels.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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