sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Did you just see the Batmobile???
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
