how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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