Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
