I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize