he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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