Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize