My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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