i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
