i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
