its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This house was built for laser tag.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
