dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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