is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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