I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
