covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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