If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
