Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
