idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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