the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i will never coherently bang her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
