Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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