She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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