threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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